“Mom, how many times have you had sex?”

It happens to every parent eventually. Preferably at a moment when you are absolutely not mentally prepared. Even if you have left a penis/vagina book lying around occasionally over the past few weeks in the hope that they would discover it themselves: 'the talk' happens when your child decides it’s time. And that can just as easily be on a Monday morning, on an empty stomach. Just ask slashparent Eva, who shared her story with us. Here at happytoys.nl, we believe in openness, because our philosophy ‘better Happy than Easy’ starts with a healthy, taboo-free foundation!

The unexpected Monday morning

“Mom, how many times have you had sex?”

My sons are quite direct, and I’m used to a lot. But I didn't see this one coming at 7:30 AM on a Monday morning. I hadn't even poured a cup of coffee yet. Now, I am of the principle that questions deserve an answer, no matter how uncomfortable they are or at what ungodly hour they are asked.

No elaborate explanation this time

“I haven’t counted, sweetie,” I answered truthfully. There was a silence; that’s rare in our house. I looked up, my eyes now half-closed after a first sip of my coffee. I saw my son waiting for the rest of my answer. After all, my answers are usually elaborate explanations with many pros and cons—a nuanced perspective is something you have to cultivate from a young age, I think.

I often use their questions to pass on some life wisdom, I’m that type of mother, much to their frustration. Usually, a double eye-roll follows when I start in on one of my lectures. But just now, when for once I had given a short and concise answer to a question, just now, that apparently didn't suffice.

Ready for 'The Talk'

My son wasn't going to be brushed off; he was ready for 'The Talk'. The reason wasn't hard to find. He likes watching action movies, and those sometimes feature a bit of skin. For instance, the day before, I had found him on the couch with the blanket pulled over his head because there was some passionate kissing on screen. That it wouldn't stop there was clear, so I fast-forwarded the scene, but he was clearly impressed by it.

Eggs, seeds, and the grown-up world

And so it happened that on a weekday morning over breakfast, I satisfied my sons' hunger for the 'grown-up world' with a spontaneous lecture on sex. While I put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, I started talking about the anatomy of the reproductive organs, explained how those thousands of seeds race toward that one egg, why girls get their period, and how a baby is conceived. I watched the expressions on their faces go from astonishment to disgust to curiosity, and back again.

They already knew a lot of things, of course, but hearing it from your mother is a slightly different experience. Because sex education can be about more than just making babies, I felt it was my duty to tell them that sex is also just fun, that you’re allowed to enjoy it (something we celebrate every day with our high-quality sexual wellness products!). Even if kids are a long way off, and that you aren't obliged to marry your first partner. “Yuck,” was their joint conclusion. Short and concise answers, they are better at that than I am.

Cuddling afterward and intimacy

Any more questions, I asked after my explanation with a thousand detours. I expected a pre-pubescent penis joke, but the question that followed was as surprising as it was touching.

“And after, when 'it' is done, what do you do then?” asked the youngest without giggling.

“Then you don't just turn around and fall asleep like a log. You keep cuddling for a while to enjoy the moment,” I replied. (To the future loves of my sons: you're welcome).

Simone's advice for conscious parents 💬

"Talking about sexuality with your children can be nerve-wracking, but it lays the foundation for healthy self-confidence and respectful relationships in the future. Sexuality is part of life and should be fun, pleasant, and intimate—whether you are exploring with your partner or choosing comfortable exploration with innovative toys like a rabbit vibrator or high-quality strokers. Make it discussable, laugh about it if it’s awkward, and remember that intimacy and cuddling afterward are the best parts."

Simone, owner of Happytoys

Do you have questions about how to give sexuality and wellness a positive place in your lifestyle, or are you looking for great products from top brands like Satisfyer or ToyJoy to enjoy alone or together? Simone is happy to help and is ready to answer all your questions discreetly and professionally.

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